X Japan: The Life Story Behind Japan's Metal Legends

X Japan are a band about extremes. Their music is extremely fast and extremely slow, extremely loud and extremely quiet, extremely sad and extremely hopeful, sometimes in the same song. Their story is also extreme: a band that started as teenagers, became the biggest rock act in Japan, broke up at the height of their fame, lost a member in a tragedy, and then came back, years later, to play to the world. It is a story of friendship, of loss, of ambition, and of a kind of loyalty that survived even a long separation.

The band was founded by two childhood friends, Yoshiki Hayashi, who plays drums and piano and writes the music, and Toshi, who sings. Around them were other musicians, most famously the guitarist hide, with his bright hair and his wild style, and the guitarist Pata, and bassists Taiji and later Heath. Together they created a style called visual kei, in which the look was as important as the sound, with big hair, dramatic make-up, and costumes that looked like they came from another world. That look shocked Japan at first, and then it changed Japan.

What makes X Japan worth telling is not only the music, although the music is powerful. It is the way the band kept going through loss and through silence. They lost hide in 1998, a year after they had broken up, and many people thought the band would never return. They did return, in 2007, and they played again, for fans who had waited ten years, and for new fans who had only heard the stories. That return is one of the most moving moments in Japanese rock, and it is the heart of their story.

Two Friends Start a Band Called X

X Japan began in the early 1980s, in Chiba, near Tokyo, when Yoshiki and Toshi were still teenagers. They had been friends since childhood, and they shared a love of rock music, especially the loud, fast metal of bands from Britain and America. They formed a band called X, and they began playing in small clubs in Tokyo, in a scene that was full of young bands trying to be heard. The early X were loud, fast and wild, and they stood out because of their energy and because of Yoshiki’s drumming, which was both powerful and precise.

Yoshiki was the driving force of the band from the start. He wrote the music, he played drums with a speed and a strength that few drummers could match, and he also played piano, writing slow, beautiful ballads that were the opposite of the fast metal songs. That mix, of speed and beauty, became the signature of X Japan. A concert could go from a song that was almost too fast to follow, to a piano ballad that made the whole audience cry, and back again. That range was unusual, and it made the band stand out in a crowded scene.

In the mid-1980s the band added hide on guitar, a musician with a wild, colourful style, and Pata on guitar, and Taiji on bass. hide became one of the most famous members, with his bright pink and red hair, his flamboyant clothes, and his energetic playing. He was a showman, and he gave the band a visual identity that matched the music. Together, the five members created a look that was later called visual kei, and they inspired a whole generation of Japanese bands to dress up, to be dramatic, and to treat a concert as theatre as well as music.

The early years were hard. The band were independent, they released their own records, and they toured in small venues, building a following through word of mouth. They were not rich, and they were not famous, but they were determined. Yoshiki, in particular, was known for his perfectionism, and for his willingness to work until the music was exactly as he wanted it. That perfectionism would become a strength and a burden, and it would shape the band’s whole career.

Blue Blood, Jealousy and the Rise to the Top

X Japan signed with a major label in the late 1980s, and their first major album, Blue Blood, released in 1989, was a breakthrough. The album mixed fast metal songs with slow ballads, and it showed a band that could do both with skill. Songs such as Kurenai, which means crimson, became anthems for their fans, with a fast opening, a slow middle, and a powerful ending. Blue Blood sold well, and it made X Japan one of the biggest rock bands in Japan.

The band followed Blue Blood with Jealousy in 1991, another successful album, and they began to play in larger venues, including the Tokyo Dome, which they filled several times. Playing the Tokyo Dome was a mark of success in Japan, and X Japan played there again and again, with shows that were long, dramatic and emotional. Their concerts were not just music. They were events, with elaborate staging, with Yoshiki playing drums until he collapsed, and with the audience singing along to every word. The band’s fans, known as We Are X, were passionate and loyal, and they followed the band everywhere.

In 1993 the band released the album Dahlia, which was more polished and more varied than the earlier albums, with songs that mixed rock, metal and pop. Dahlia showed a band that was growing, and that was willing to try new ideas, even if those ideas were different from the fast metal of their early years. The album was a success, and it confirmed that X Japan were at the top of Japanese rock. They were no longer a young band from Chiba. They were the biggest rock band in the country, and they were known around the world by fans of Japanese music.

During this period the band also changed their name from X to X Japan, to avoid confusion with an American band of the same name, and to mark their identity as a Japanese act. The change was a small one, but it was a sign that the band were thinking about the world, not only about Japan. They were starting to look abroad, and to think about how their music could be heard in other countries. That ambition would become more important in the years after their reunion.

The Breakup and the Loss of hide

In 1997 X Japan broke up, in a way that shocked their fans. Toshi, the singer, decided to leave the band, for reasons that were personal and complex, and the other members decided that X Japan could not continue without him. The band played a final concert, The Last Live, at the Tokyo Dome on 31 December 1997, in front of a huge, emotional audience. It was a sad, powerful night, with the band playing their best-known songs for the last time, and with the fans crying, singing, and saying goodbye. Many people thought that was the end of X Japan, and for ten years, it was.

The tragedy that followed made the breakup even sadder. In May 1998, hide, the guitarist, died at the age of 33. His death was a shock to the band, to their fans, and to the whole Japanese music world. hide had been a beloved figure, with a solo career as well as his work in X Japan, and his death left a hole that could not be filled. The band members grieved, the fans grieved, and the story of X Japan seemed to end in loss, not in triumph. For years, the idea of a reunion seemed impossible, because how could X Japan play without hide?

The years after hide’s death were quiet for the band. Yoshiki worked on other projects, including solo work and work with other artists, and Toshi worked on his own music. The other members also pursued their own careers. The band’s music continued to be loved, and new fans discovered it, but the band itself was silent. The silence lasted for a decade, and during that time the legend of X Japan grew. People talked about the band, they played the records, they watched the videos, and they wondered if the band would ever return.

Reunion, We Are X and a World Tour

In 2007 X Japan reunited, with Yoshiki and Toshi back together, and with Pata, Heath and a new guitarist, Sugizo, who took the place of hide in a way that honoured his memory rather than replacing him. The reunion was announced with a new song, I.V., and with concerts in Tokyo, including shows at the Tokyo Dome, where the band had played their last live ten years earlier. The reunion concerts were emotional, with fans who had waited a decade finally seeing the band again, and with the band playing songs that had not been heard live for years. The atmosphere was one of joy, of relief, and of remembrance, especially for hide, whose presence was felt in the music and in the memories of the audience.

After the reunion, X Japan began to tour outside Japan in a serious way, playing in the United States, in Europe, and in Asia. They performed at Madison Square Garden in New York in 2014, a venue that is a mark of success for any act, and they played at Wembley Arena in London in 2017. These shows were a sign that X Japan were no longer only a Japanese band. They were a global band, with fans in many countries, and with a story that resonated around the world. The band’s music, which had once been heard only in Japan, was now heard in New York, London, Paris and other cities.

In 2016 the documentary film We Are X was released, telling the story of the band, from their early days to their reunion, and focusing on Yoshiki and on the loss of hide. The film was shown at film festivals around the world, and it was praised for its honesty and its emotion. It introduced X Japan to a new audience, people who had never heard of the band, but who were moved by the story of friendship, loss and return. The film became a key part of the band’s second life, and it helped them reach listeners who had not been born when the band first formed.

X Japan have continued to work on new music, and they have continued to perform, although their activities have been slower than in their early years, partly because of Yoshiki’s health, and partly because of the difficulty of making new music after such a long history. Yoshiki has spoken about the pressure of writing new X Japan songs, and about the need to honour the past while also moving forward. The band’s future is uncertain, but their legacy is already secure. They are one of the most important bands in Japanese rock history, and their music continues to be loved.

Visual Kei, Speed and the Piano

The sound of X Japan is a mix of opposites, and that mix is what makes it powerful. Yoshiki’s drumming is fast, loud and physical, and it drives the metal songs forward with a relentless energy. His piano playing is the opposite: slow, melodic and emotional, with ballads such as Endless Rain and Tears that are among the most loved songs in Japan. The contrast between the drums and the piano is the heart of the band, and it shows Yoshiki’s range as a musician. He can be both the loudest and the quietest person on stage, and he can move between those two extremes in a single song.

hide’s guitar playing was also a key part of the sound. He played with a wild, colourful style, and he wrote songs that were more playful and more experimental than Yoshiki’s. Pata’s guitar was more steady and more melodic, and the two guitarists worked together to create a full, layered sound. Toshi’s voice was the other key part, with a high, powerful range that could carry both the fast metal songs and the slow ballads. His singing was emotional and direct, and it gave the band a human voice at the centre of the loud music.

The visual style of X Japan, the big hair, the make-up, the dramatic costumes, was also important. It was not a gimmick. It was a way of saying that rock music could be theatre, that a concert could be a visual experience as well as a musical one, and that a band could be both serious and flamboyant. That idea, called visual kei, became a major movement in Japanese rock, and it inspired many other bands. X Japan were the pioneers of that movement, and their influence is still felt today.

Today X Japan are remembered as legends, and their songs are still played, still sung, and still loved. They are a band that went through fame, breakup, loss and reunion, and that came out the other side with their music intact. Their story is not a simple one, but it is a human one, and it is why people still care about X Japan, decades after they first formed.

Madison Square Garden, Wembley and the Global Stage

After their reunion, X Japan played in some of the most famous venues in the world, including Madison Square Garden in New York in 2014, where they performed for an audience that included both Japanese fans who had travelled to see them, and American fans who had discovered them through the internet, through anime, and through word of mouth. The show at Madison Square Garden was a major moment, because it is a venue that is a mark of success for any act, and because it showed that X Japan could fill a large American venue, with a Japanese-language set, and with a sound that was both metal and ballad, both loud and quiet. The audience sang along, cheered, and cried, and the band played with an energy that showed they were back, and that they were serious about playing to the world.

In 2017 the band played at Wembley Arena in London, another famous venue, and another sign that they were a global act. The Wembley show was emotional, with fans who had waited for years to see X Japan in Britain, and with the band playing songs that had not been heard live in London before. The show was a celebration, but it was also a reminder of how far the band had come, from small clubs in Tokyo, to the Tokyo Dome, to Madison Square Garden, to Wembley. That journey, from Chiba to the world, is a long one, and it is one that few Japanese bands have made, and X Japan made it, even after a breakup, even after a loss, and even after ten years of silence.

The band have also played in other countries, in Europe, in Asia, and in South America, and they have found audiences in each place who love their music, who know their story, and who sing along in Japanese, even if they do not speak the language. That global audience is a sign of how far their music has travelled, and of how much their story resonates, with people who have never been to Japan, but who understand loss, friendship, and the hope of return. X Japan’s music is Japanese, but its feelings are universal, and that is why it travels so well.

Yoshiki, Health and the Cost of Perfection

Yoshiki is the heart of X Japan, and he is also the person who has paid the highest price for the band’s success. His drumming is physical, fast and powerful, and it takes a toll on his body, especially on his neck and his arms, and he has spoken about the pain, about the surgeries, and about the need to rest, even when he wants to keep playing. His piano playing is also demanding, with long, emotional ballads that require concentration and control, and his songwriting is demanding, because he will not let a song go until it is exactly as he wants it. That perfectionism is a gift, because it makes the music so good, but it is also a burden, because it means that Yoshiki is never satisfied, and never at rest.

In recent years Yoshiki has been open about his health, about the operations he has had, and about the need to look after himself, even as he continues to work on new music, on new projects, and on X Japan. That openness is important, because it shows fans that even a legend is human, that even a great musician can be hurt, and that it is okay to rest, to heal, and to take time. Yoshiki’s honesty about his health has made him more human to his fans, not less, and it has made the band’s story more real, not less. A band that is honest about its difficulties is a band that the audience can trust, and X Japan have earned that trust, through their music and through their honesty.

The cost of perfection is also visible in the band’s slow pace of new music. Fans have waited many years for a new X Japan album, and Yoshiki has spoken about the pressure of writing it, about the need to honour the past, and about the difficulty of making something new after such a long history. That pressure is real, and it is understandable, because a new album from X Japan would be judged against Blue Blood, against Jealousy, against Dahlia, and against the memory of hide. That is a heavy weight, and Yoshiki carries it, even as he continues to work, to perform, and to keep the band alive. The wait is hard for fans, but it is also a sign of how much Yoshiki cares about getting it right.

Forever Love, Endless Rain and the Ballads of X Japan

For a band known for speed and noise, X Japan have written some of the most tender ballads in Japanese rock, and those ballads are a large part of why they are loved. Endless Rain, from the album Blue Blood, begins with a soft piano and a quiet voice, and it grows slowly into a song about longing and loss that fills a whole arena. Tears, from the album Dahlia, is a long, sad song that Yoshiki wrote about his father, and Forever Love is a song about a love that does not end, even when the person is gone. These songs are played at weddings, at funerals, and at moments when people need music to say what they cannot say themselves, and that is a different kind of fame from the fame of a fast metal song. It is a quieter fame, and it lasts longer.

The ballads come from Yoshiki himself, and they come from the other half of his musical life. He began playing the piano as a small child, and he trained in classical music long before he learned to play the drums, and that training never left him. When he sits at a piano, he is not a metal drummer trying to play softly. He is a pianist, writing melodies that could stand on their own without any guitars at all. That is why the ballads feel so complete. They are not metal songs slowed down. They are piano songs, written by a man who understands both worlds, and who can move between them without losing his way.

The contrast between the two sides of X Japan is what makes their concerts so powerful. A show can open with a fast, loud song like Kurenai or Rusty Nail, with Yoshiki drumming so hard that his body seems to shake, and then, a few songs later, the lights can fall, the guitars can stop, and Yoshiki can sit alone at a piano and play a ballad that makes a whole stadium go quiet. That silence is as loud as the drums, in its own way, because it shows that the audience trust the band enough to follow them from noise to stillness and back again. Few bands can do that. Most bands choose one side and stay there. X Japan chose both, and they have held both together for more than forty years.

The ballads also carry the band’s history of loss inside them, and the fans know it. When Forever Love is played now, many listeners think of hide, the guitarist who died in 1998, and of the years when the band were apart, and of the reunion that brought them back together. The song does not need to explain any of that. It only needs to be played, and the audience bring their own memories to it. That is the power of a ballad that is written honestly. It does not tell the listener what to feel. It gives them a melody, and it lets them feel what they already carry inside. Yoshiki has written many such songs, and they are the reason X Japan are remembered not only as a metal band, but as a band that understood the human heart.

Endless Rain, Tears and the Ballads That Made Japan Cry

Endless Rain is one of X Japan’s most loved songs, a piano-led ballad that starts quietly, with Yoshiki at the piano, and builds slowly, with Toshi’s voice rising, with the band joining in, and with a feeling of sadness, of longing, and of hope, that has made it a favourite at concerts, at weddings, and at moments when people need a song to say what they cannot say themselves. The song is about rain that never ends, about a feeling that will not go away, and about the hope that, even in the rain, there is still something worth holding on to, and that message, simple and emotional, is why Endless Rain has lasted for more than thirty years, and why it is still sung, still played, and still loved, by fans in Japan and around the world.

Tears is another ballad, a song about loss, about grief, and about the feeling of crying, of letting go, and of remembering someone who is gone, and it is a song that many fans associate with hide, with the loss of a friend, and with the sadness of a band that broke up, and then lost a member, and then had to find a way to go on. Tears is not a happy song, but it is a beautiful one, with a melody that is both sad and hopeful, and with a performance that is both powerful and tender, and it shows Yoshiki’s ability to write a ballad that is as strong as his fastest metal song, and Toshi’s ability to sing it with a feeling that is real, and that comes from having lived through loss, himself.

Forever Love is another song that fans love, a ballad about a love that lasts, about a promise, and about the hope that love can survive time, distance, and loss, and it is often played at weddings, at concerts, and at moments when people want to celebrate a love that is strong, and that will not fade. The song is a reminder that X Japan are not only a metal band. They are also a band of ballads, of piano songs, of love songs, and of emotional songs, that speak to people in a different way than their fast metal songs do, and that show a different side of Yoshiki, of Toshi, and of the band as a whole, a side that is tender, that is hopeful, and that is human.

These ballads, Endless Rain, Tears, and Forever Love, are now part of the band’s live set, and they are sung by audiences in Japan and abroad, in Japanese, with a feeling that is both personal and shared, and they show that X Japan’s music is not only about speed, about loudness, or about metal, but also about emotion, about love, and about the human heart, and that is why their music has lasted, and why it will last, for many years to come, even when the band changes, even when the world changes, and even when new fans discover them, for the first time, through a ballad, rather than through a metal song.

My Take:

I think X Japan are a band about holding two opposite feelings at the same time, and I find that very human. Their music is fast and slow, loud and quiet, angry and tender, and it moves between those extremes without apology. I have felt that way in my own life, happy and sad at the same time, hopeful and afraid at the same time, and I think most people have too. A band that can put that feeling into music, and make it sound natural, is doing something important. X Japan do that, and they have done it for more than forty years, in one form or another.

Yoshiki is the person I think about most when I think about this band. He is a drummer who plays until he collapses, a pianist who writes ballads that make people cry, and a perfectionist who cannot let a song go until it is exactly right. That perfectionism is both his strength and his burden, and I can see both sides of it. On one hand, it is why the music is so good, because he will not accept anything less than his best. On the other hand, it must be exhausting, to live with that level of pressure, to feel that every song has to be perfect, and to carry the weight of a band’s history on your shoulders. I admire him, and I also worry for him, because that kind of pressure can break a person, and Yoshiki has been open about the toll it has taken on his health.

The loss of hide is the saddest part of this story, and it is the part I find hardest to write about. hide was 33 when he died, in 1998, a year after the band had broken up, and his death changed everything. He was a bright, wild, joyful presence, with pink hair and a big smile, and he gave the band a lightness that balanced Yoshiki’s seriousness. When he died, that lightness was gone, and the band lost not only a guitarist, but a friend, a brother, and a part of themselves. I think about the fans who had to grieve for him, and about the band members who had to grieve while also being in the public eye, and I feel a deep sadness for them. Loss like that does not go away. It stays, and it shapes everything that comes after.

The reunion in 2007 moves me, because it was not a simple comeback. It was a return after ten years of silence, after a breakup, after a death, and it took courage to do it. Yoshiki and Toshi had to face each other again, they had to face the audience again, and they had to play songs that were full of memories, some happy and some painful. I think about the first reunion concert, at the Tokyo Dome, where they had played their last live ten years earlier, and I can imagine how emotional that night must have been. The audience had waited, the band had waited, and when the music started, all of that waiting became part of the show. That is a powerful moment, and it is why the reunion matters so much to fans.

We Are X, the documentary from 2016, is something I recommend to anyone who wants to understand this band, because it does not hide the pain. It shows Yoshiki’s health problems, it shows the grief for hide, it shows the difficulty of making new music, and it shows the love that the band members still have for each other, even after everything. I think that honesty is rare, and it is why the film worked. It did not try to make X Japan look perfect. It tried to show them as they are, flawed, tired, grieving, and still playing, and that honesty made the music feel more real, not less.

I also think about visual kei, and about how X Japan changed Japanese rock by daring to look different. In the 1980s, a rock band in Japan was expected to look a certain way, and X Japan broke that expectation completely, with big hair, make-up and dramatic clothes. Some people laughed at first, and some people were shocked, but the band did not change. They kept their look, and they inspired a whole movement of bands who wanted to be visual, theatrical and dramatic. I think that takes courage, because it is easy to dress like everyone else, and hard to dress like yourself when yourself looks strange to other people. X Japan did the hard thing, and Japanese music is richer for it.

I do not love everything about X Japan. Their perfectionism can make their work slow, and their fans have waited many years for a new album that has not yet arrived in full. I understand the frustration of waiting, and I think it is fair to say that Yoshiki’s need for perfection has sometimes held the band back. I also think their music can feel too dramatic at times, too big, too emotional, as if every song has to be the most important song ever written. Sometimes I want a smaller song, a quieter song, a song that does not try so hard. But I also know that the drama is part of who they are, and that asking them to be small would be asking them to be a different band.

If a young musician asked me what to learn from X Japan, I would say this: be willing to be extreme, be willing to be both loud and quiet, be willing to look different, and be willing to work until the music is right. But also, look after yourself, and look after your friends, because a band is made of people, and people can break. Yoshiki has spoken about his health, and about the cost of playing drums the way he does, and I think that is a warning as well as an inspiration. Work hard, but do not destroy yourself for the work. The music will still be there tomorrow, and you need to be there too.

In the end, I think X Japan have taught me that a band can survive loss, silence and time, if the music is strong enough and if the friendship is strong enough. They broke up, they lost hide, they were silent for ten years, and they came back. That return does not erase the loss, and it does not bring hide back, but it does show that the music can continue, and that the love for the band can continue, even after the worst has happened. That is a hopeful message, and it is why I will keep listening to X Japan, and why I think their story will be told for a long time.

I also think about Madison Square Garden and Wembley, and about what it must have been like to play those venues, after ten years of silence, after a breakup, after a loss, and to hear an audience in New York and in London singing along in Japanese. That must have been a powerful feeling, a mix of joy, of relief, and of sadness, because hide was not there, and because the band had been through so much to get to that stage. I think about the fans who travelled from Japan to see those shows, and the fans in America and Britain who had waited for years, and I feel a sense of shared history, of a band and an audience who have been through a lot together, and who are still together, even after everything. That is a rare bond, and it is one that few bands have.

I think about Yoshiki’s health, and about the cost of playing drums the way he does, of writing music the way he does, and of carrying the weight of X Japan on his shoulders. I worry for him, because I know that perfectionism can break a person, and that the pressure to make a perfect album, after so many years, can be overwhelming. I hope he looks after himself, I hope he rests when he needs to, and I hope he knows that the fans will wait, and that they will love the music when it comes, even if it is not perfect, because the music is already loved, and the band is already loved, and perfection is not the only thing that matters. Sometimes, a song that is honest, even if it is imperfect, is better than a song that is perfect but never finished.

I wonder what hide would think, if he could see X Japan now, playing at Madison Square Garden, at Wembley, in the world, with Sugizo on guitar, with a new generation of fans, and with a documentary that tells their story. I think he would be proud, and I think he would also be sad, because he is not there to share it, but I also think he would be happy that the band kept going, that the music kept going, and that his memory is honoured, not forgotten. hide’s presence is still felt in X Japan, in the songs he wrote, in the look he created, and in the memories of the fans who loved him, and that presence will not go away, even as the band changes and grows.

I also think about the wait for a new album, and about how hard it is for fans to wait, year after year, for music that may or may not come. I understand that frustration, and I think it is fair to say that Yoshiki’s perfectionism has held the band back, at times, and that the audience deserves new music, not only old songs. But I also understand the pressure, and I think that a new album, when it comes, will be worth waiting for, because it will be made with care, with love, and with a desire to honour the past while also moving forward. I hope it comes soon, and I hope it is good, but I also hope Yoshiki knows that he does not have to be perfect to be loved. He is already loved, and the band is already loved, and that love will not go away, even if the album takes a little longer.

In the end, I come back to the idea that X Japan are a band about extremes, about fast and slow, loud and quiet, sad and hopeful, and about holding those extremes together, in one song, in one concert, in one life. That is a human thing, to feel opposite things at the same time, and to keep going, even when the feelings are difficult. X Japan have done that, for more than forty years, through fame, breakup, loss, and return, and they are still doing it, and that is why I will keep listening to them, and why I think their story will be told for a long time, by fans who were there, and by fans who are only now discovering them.

I want to write plainly about hide, because his death is the wound at the centre of this story, and it would be wrong to pass over it. He died in 1998, when the band had already broken up, and his death shocked Japan in a way that is hard to explain to someone who was not there. He was young, he was loved, and he was a guitarist who had his own style, his own fans, and his own bright, pink-haired image that stood out even inside a band as bold as X Japan. The band did not simply lose a member. They lost a friend, and the fans lost a person they felt they knew. When X Japan reunited years later, they did so without him, and that absence was felt in every show. I think the band handled that absence with respect, by remembering him on stage, by keeping his place in the story, and by not pretending that the reunion could make the loss go away. That honesty is part of why fans trusted the reunion.

I also think about Yoshiki, and about the price he has paid for his perfection. He drums with his whole body, he writes with great care, and he has suffered injuries to his neck and his hands that have needed surgery, and he has spoken about the pain of performing. It would be easy to call that foolish, and to say that a man should stop before he hurts himself. But I think it is more honest to say that Yoshiki has chosen a life where the work matters more than comfort, and that he has paid for that choice with his health. I do not admire the pain itself. I admire the fact that he knows the cost, and he keeps going anyway, because the music matters to him and to the people who listen. That is a hard kind of courage, and it is not one I would ask of anyone lightly.

There is a last thought I want to add, about holding two opposite feelings at once. X Japan taught me that a person can be joyful and sad at the same time, loud and quiet at the same time, and broken and strong at the same time, and that none of those pairs cancel each other out. Their fastest songs are full of joy, and their saddest songs are full of beauty, and both are true. I think many people live like that, carrying happiness and grief together, and feeling guilty for it, as if they should choose one. X Japan say you do not have to choose. You can hold both, and you can keep going, and the music will hold them for you, for as long as you need it.

I also think about Endless Rain, and about what it means to hear a piano ballad, in the middle of a metal concert, with thousands of people, and to feel the whole arena go quiet, to hear Toshi sing, to hear Yoshiki play, and to feel a shared sadness, a shared hope, and a shared love, all at once. That is a powerful moment, and it is one that few bands can create, because it requires a band that can be both loud and quiet, both fast and slow, and both angry and tender, and X Japan can do all of that, in the same concert, in the same song, and sometimes in the same minute. I find that moving, because it shows that music can hold opposite feelings, and that a band can be both a metal band and a ballad band, without choosing one, and without apologising for either.

I think about Tears, and about loss, and about the feeling of crying for someone who is gone, and I find that song difficult to listen to, because it is so sad, and because it reminds me of hide, of a young man who died at thirty-three, and of a band that lost a friend, a brother, and a part of themselves. That sadness is real, and it is part of X Japan’s story, and it is why Tears is so powerful, because it does not hide the sadness, it does not pretend that loss is easy, and it does not offer a simple happy ending. It just says, this is sad, this hurts, and we are still here, singing, and that honesty is a brave thing, and it is why I respect the song, even when it is hard to hear.

I wonder what it must be like to be a fan, hearing Forever Love at a wedding, or at a concert, and feeling that love can last, that a promise can be kept, and that, even after loss, even after time, love can still be there, in a song, in a memory, and in a heart. That is a hopeful message, and it is one that X Japan give, even in their saddest songs, because their ballads are not only about sadness. They are also about hope, about the hope that love lasts, that rain ends, and that tears dry, and that is a message I need to hear, and I think many people do, especially when they are going through a difficult time, and when they need a song to remind them that it will get better, even if it takes a long time.

I also think about Yoshiki at the piano, and about how different that image is from Yoshiki at the drums, one quiet, one loud, one gentle, one powerful, and both are him, both are true, and both are part of X Japan. That duality, of a man who can be both a pianist and a drummer, both a composer of ballads and a player of metal, is a rare thing, and it is why Yoshiki is such an interesting musician, because he does not fit into one box, and he does not try to. He is both, and he is proud of both, and that pride, that willingness to be both, is a lesson for anyone who feels that they have to choose one identity, one style, or one kind of music. You do not have to choose. You can be both, and X Japan prove it, song after song, concert after concert.

In the end, I come back to the ballads, to Endless Rain, to Tears, to Forever Love, and to the idea that a metal band can also be a band of love songs, of piano songs, and of emotional songs, and that those songs can be as powerful, as loved, and as lasting, as the fastest metal song. That is a remarkable achievement, and it is why X Japan matter, not only to metal fans, but to anyone who has ever loved, lost, and hoped, and who needs a song to say what they cannot say themselves. I will keep listening to those ballads, and I will keep listening to the metal, because both are X Japan, and both are true, and both are worth hearing, for a long time to come.

Frequently Asked Questions

Who founded X Japan and when?

X Japan, originally called X, was founded in the early 1980s in Chiba by childhood friends Yoshiki Hayashi and Toshi. Yoshiki plays drums and piano and writes the music, while Toshi is the singer. They were later joined by the guitarists hide and Pata, and by bassists Taiji and later Heath.

What is visual kei and how did X Japan shape it?

Visual kei is a style of Japanese rock in which the look is as important as the sound, with dramatic hair, make-up and costumes, and X Japan were pioneers of that movement. Their flamboyant appearance in the 1980s inspired many other Japanese bands to treat concerts as theatre. The style is still a major part of Japanese rock today.

What are X Japan’s best-known songs?

Their best-known songs include Kurenai, Endless Rain, Tears, Silent Jealousy and Forever Love, which mix fast metal with slow, emotional ballads. Kurenai is a fast anthem with a slow middle, while Endless Rain and Tears are piano-led ballads loved across Japan. Each song shows Yoshiki’s range as a songwriter.

Why did X Japan break up in 1997?

Toshi decided to leave the band in 1997 for personal reasons, and the other members decided that X Japan could not continue without him. They played a final concert, The Last Live, at the Tokyo Dome on 31 December 1997. The band were silent for ten years before reuniting in 2007.

What happened to the guitarist hide?

hide, the guitarist, died in May 1998 at the age of 33, a year after the band had broken up. His death was a shock to the band, to their fans, and to the Japanese music world, and it made a reunion seem impossible for many years. When the band reunited in 2007, Sugizo joined on guitar, honouring hide’s memory rather than replacing him.

Did X Japan play outside Japan after their reunion?

Yes, after reuniting in 2007, X Japan toured in the United States, Europe and Asia, playing at Madison Square Garden in New York in 2014 and at Wembley Arena in London in 2017. The documentary We Are X, released in 2016, also introduced them to audiences around the world. Their reunion made them a global act.